If you’ve been following me awhile you’ll know I started this Instagram thing off as a young woman learning to fall in love with herself, and as I traveled through the waves- of life, Ive crashed here. Still on your timeline trying to remain in tuned with myself and not what is happening in front of my phone screen. If you know me in real life, you know time with me is better than your timeline— and truthfully there are not enough hours in the day for me to show you all that side of me and handle the business I’ve created for myself.
The tail end of 2014 I became pregnant with Sirius and in 2015, I * accidentally* started a business. (One day I’ll tell the world how it was by accident) But blame my overachieving virgo sun- and my over pleasing pisces moon= and here I am 3 years later … being ask how do I juggle it “all”. It wasn’t until recently did I realize what people where asking me when they greeted me with that. I always figure they wanted to know how I handled being a mom, business owner, a lover still addicted to loving and still have time for me… and I would usually laugh it off and just say “girl im crazy” - and deflect from that QUICKLY. Because secret is: I don’t like talking shit about things I don’t know about.
I’m horrible at it. I enjoy speaking from a space of security and clarity and every day for the last few years have been a Blur to me. So finally it hits me, when I’m asked how I handle it all- they’re asking about my mind and how I escape Into my mental fortitude just to keep going, even after I fail. All I can say is, I’ve never seen a person give up and fight for their lives simultaneously. Its one way or the other— and I just decided its not time to give up yet. I’ve faced a challenge in business, in love, in my head— every single day since I’ve started— but I haven’t given up yet. & that consistency is paying off. #MomPrenuerDiaries#OneWomanShow#ImStillEntertained#GlowUpStillLoading#AExME
I ran to the market and then to the post office rocking this two piece. And if i can make it through the day I’ll add some day drinking- a pedicure and possssssibly a dinner date in it. Swipe to see how i plan on making this one set “appropriate” for each part of my day! Lol
Diata two Piece is up on the shopee @erynamelshopee there a discount floating about too. Ask a friend about it. ✨💙💛
Motivating myself..Easily goes from 0 to 1,000. Because if i don’t slow clap and give me a standing ovation. Who else will? — today’s mantra is simple: I want it so imma go get it. ✨ Manifest yo ish, Friday ✨
Wins are wins. New car, an extra five minutes to yourself at lunch, a break from the kids, a new house- running water in your old house. Friends who hype you up- Dress that hug your curves- you want it, so go get it. Even if it doesn’t come into fruition today. Out of everything I’ve tried. Consistency brings me the biggest return yet. Well consistency and sage dancing. Every week- pick a day and get free.
Sage & Trap Music Manifestations— divinity at its finest. New dress on the shopee @erynamelshopee and i grab all my sage and juju paraphernalia from @boujeeboho_boutique#RegalRatchet#MomBodAppreciationPost
☀️ it is a common theme in self care to remove yourself from any level of toxicity that intercepts your emotional healing. Consciousness will tell you, to be aware means to see a oneness between you and everything you witness. Some likenesses go too far- cut too deep- remind you of things your mama would say to you- remind you of the space your father took.. So to release yourself from the trauma of your own you’ll convince yourself “alone” is where you prefer to be. You create a barrier around your mind and heart since you can’t physically remove yourself from the world. But truth is, as the world cannot erase you, it will not erase what you have been through. Your story is a good one and it deserves to be heard. It has twists and turns, drama, suspense, action, romance and comedy. It deserves to be lifted in spirit. // page break.
Notes on: Boundaries and barriers.
When you set a boundary you are reminding yourself that self love carries a risk of disappointment to other people. But that disappointment is not in spite, it is not revenge and is deeply rooted in the purest sense of love their is, yours. You deserve a love guilt free of survivors remorse. There are people who have survived storms you are currently weathering. There are good, healing, courageous people who are wading in their storm. Or who were in the midst of their storm when you met them. Do not write them off yet, your story cannot be erased nor written off (see that oneness= consciousness). & Most importantly, your story is not over yet. The Hero in any fable faces a task where they consider acting in a way they feel most “safe”.. or they switch it up and find the breakthrough they’ve been waiting for.
If you’re contemplating starting a business or looking for inspiration on what it takes to stay on top of your responsibilities in business please follow my store page @erynamelshopee. Before i started my business there wasn’t anyone i could pick brains with. There weren’t many resources aside from the internet and i learned early that everything you see is not what you get. I’ve been cursed out, I’ve been praised. I’ve been thanked, I’ve been blocked. It’s all in the name of business and building better business is a DAILY commitment. Today i processed orders. Drop off about 80 of them. Took the kid to target. Sucked on some Starbucks and starting going through the reel of lingerie line I’m dropping (yeah! Get excited 😩✨). I got a lot done today and i woke up at 5:15 to start at it. How did you start your day today? And do you believe in waking up earlier to feel more productive through the day? How do you stay focused? For me, when I’m feeling on edge i go sit out in the sun and ask for direction. I ask the universe to lead me in the direction of my growth and not allow me to wade in it. It usually works and I’m recharged to take on other duties— like boo loving, making dinner and responding to text. Lol
It’s a desert before dinner day today. I’m thinking #Sorbet And breezy dresses! | #SorbetHalterDress available on @erynamelshopee 💜💗💙
Because i actually love keke— and i won’t bother her with my shenanigans and ask her if she’s riding with me while I’m playing the field. Because we respect women over here. Because we love our women and support their differences and their dreams. Because, #InMyFeelings is what i mean when i exclaim that I’m unashamed. Won’t be able to woo me with a song and dance... unless there’s a dance challenge to it— and then Im multifaceted - aspiring cultural anthropologist- twerking on the block- as an act of self righteousness— somewhere in the middle of the day in the hood. Asking Keke does she love me— because it’s all fun in the sun lol
Highlighter Orange Tee via @erynamelshopee
... meanwhile I’m sitting on my bed rocking back and forth counting down until 5 when i go pick him up. I’m working on this non attachment parenting but it’s hard. Like look at his round ol egg head— he drives me insane asking a trillion questions a day. But he’s so cute and for the last three years he’s been all mine, now he’s gone to be of the world 😩. I’m a mess now, how do y’all expect me to handle COLLEGE 😩 #SirisFirstDayOfSchool 💚 #ItsOnlyPartTimeMom#HonestMotherhood
i tell myself to stop taking work to bed, but it fails because Im low-key in need of partnership.. or someone who knows when to step in, take my laptop out of my hands- and tell me to get some sleep. Yeah, text are cool but I do what I want and sometimes lack self discipline, so an accountability partner would be great. Im keeping that side of the bed warm for you, when you show up— its currently covered in invoices and laundry- as the kid starts his first day in daycare tomorrow (talk about nervous) this is a new chapter of motherhood— a new one into womanhood too! Where I’m craving another breathing body in this bed with me, instead of this over heating-breathing machine. But I know this won’t last, and lord knows Im not looking for the alignment of availability- because truth is anyone can be in this bed with me, but everyone isn’t able to nurture my mind body and spirit, like my productivity does. So until then, I’m sleeping with my notebooks and chargers— until my partner comes along and reminds me that it’s ok to put my work away, because they’re there to keep me warm now.
I realized that i haven’t been too transparent about the work that i do. Probably because i feel like why post about it when i could be working? It was brought to my understanding that this social media community is not just in rally of me but that want to support. Some just aren’t as close as others. Others, too close for comfort. But the support wants to be shared.. i got to open up a bit more to see a bit more of it. I get that now. Well here’s some transparency for you: it’s 95 degrees and I’m moving 109 pounds of merchandise to the post office. Well, Sirius and i are but in this heat he’s no help lol. I called the uber, he pulls around the corner from my house there’s a stare off. (I’m very stoic in the face of acting masculinity. I’m watching how you move so i know how to address you.) he starts backing up. Good job, sir.
He pulls close to me. Not nearly as close as he get and he gets out his car and watches me take 4 trips back and forth to the car. That’s cool though, because my ass looks great today. 🙄. We’re loaded. We’re dropped off. 2 stars. We proceed into the post office. Wink at the teller who helps me often, he actually looks like quavo from the migos. I like that. 🙃. Anyway he scans my packages. Commenting on how business seems to be growing. I tell him, i don’t know if the business is growing. But i know i am and that’s enough for me. // hows that for transparency? #MomPrenuerDiaries oh and if you read this whole thing THANK YOU. for your support! Use code ENJOY @erynamelshopee To receive 30% off new orders. ✨💪🏽
Spirituality doesn’t have a “look” and I’m thankful for that because if it did it may just be so uncharming that it may distract you from the energy you need to connect in with. The higher power, the high source, genderless, and fluid- with the grace of caregiver and the memory of a martyr. God is easily in all of us. So the looks change. God changes, depending on who you’re talking to. Some people worship the mind body and spirit. Some people connect with nature or masturbate in the privacy of their own spaces and call that “church”. Some prayers you say out loud. Some of them you don’t say at all— either way your spiritual walk is not up for debate nor display. It’s where you go when you’re happy and when you’re broken. Its bringing sand to the beach, cause your beach is better. (Shout out to Jay Z Gospels). It’s where you seek refuge and not rescue. For the healer, God is in herself. #BrujaBae