March is the month to bring awareness to pregnancy after loss, obviously something that I’m currently going through. It’s crazy to think this is my sixth pregnancy but I’ve only been able to bring home one baby. I’ve been pregnant four times in the last 15 months. I’ve officially spent 233 days of the last 15 months pregnant. Due dates are calculated at 280 days of pregnancy, that’s crazy right? One of my pregnancies last year did not result in an actual baby, just a gestational sac that continued growing on its own supporting no life with in it. I’ve heard three babies heart beats including this one and I’ve lost two since last January. Every good day I have, every day I don’t lay in bed vomiting 15+ times a day is a day filled with absolute fear that it’s because our baby has stopped thriving. Pregnancy after loss is SO scary, it’s filled with anxiety and what ifs, it’s hard to feel connected to my pregnancy. I leave every ultrasound with a “things are good...for now,” thought process. I’m more prepared to lose this baby than I am to actually bring them home. Pregnancy after loss is hard. People don’t understand the feelings or thoughts I have unless they’ve experienced loss too because so many people couldn’t imagine losing babies and I hope they never have to know that feeling.